Thursday, 10 December 2009
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Best Of Guardian Gamesblog 5-11 October
In the week that saw the news of the LHC at CERN possibly being sabotaged from a particle it created in the future travelling back through time to sabotage the experiment that created it, a little piece of the past came back the other way. What wasn’t reported in the news was that also out of History came the condensed musings of one week of Guardian Gamesblog chatter, and now, thanks to that cosmic hiccup, I present to you...
Monday, 5th October was a day like many that had passed before it, not nearly because silveryfox managed to grab a 6th first in a row, showing the level of dedication that has previously been seen only in his dedication to Wipeout. He went onto grab a 7th before the title was snatched away from him by Pokemon (not the actual creatures). It was also a cold day, with the breath of commuters crystalising in the pre-dawn air and the sudden shift to autumn was noticed by a few bloggers who dutifully complained of the cold, the dark and the way lycra shorts chafe at this time of year.
FIFA10 was on the cards for most of the day, with the blog split between those who had it, those who were desperately waiting for it and those who were steadfastly not going to get it because they had their heart set on PES. SuperSmashIn was hoping the game shaped birthday present he’d found was a copy of FIFA whilst GranaryThorax had the most heartrending story about not being able to play due to an XBox RROD, but it was mainly passed over by the unfeeling bloggers and we’ll do the same here.
Monday’s enthusiasm for the game carried on through the week, and ruminations of a chatterbox league to rival the dominance of PES, and games of 10 Chatterboxers taking on the world in the manner that had seen them do so well at Killzone, were heard from many corners. PES players were able to delight in a touch of schadenfreude be Wednesday, however, as it became apparent that FIFA online was terrible, much as it had been with PES. Only bigworv had a word of warning amidst the general revelry, cautioning,
Rather than revel in the delicious comedy of it all I'm going to take a pessimistic stance. If FIFA online is now borked, how heinous is PES10 going to be?
Only time would tell, and indeed probably has by now. There may also have been a few bloggers who don’t like football games but they don’t really matter and as for me, I’m still waiting for it to be delivered from Tesco.
More online football woe beset the ‘box this week as it became evident that the In-ger-lund Ukraine world cup qualifier would only be available online from an “entertainment company”, for a fee. SuperSmashIn, I feel, summed up the thoughts of the box when he opined,
“THIS COUNTRY”
Our lives, however, were considerably brightened by the introduction of avatars that didn’t look like chess pieces caught in a Sony Bravia commercial as Guardian allowed us to express ourselves in picture form. Charles Arthur’s eyes are all seeing, however, and many first attempts were cruelly, and probably quite rightly, rejected. Some did manage to make it through first time, and a more rounded view of our fellow chatterers was seen. Some going for the literal, as BeardofBees with his picture of a man with a beard of, well, bees I presume, although some went a bit too literal (Looking at Spew). Others went for games related avatars and a special few chose something close to their hearts, like Limni “These are a pair of Air Max 360/95 hybrids and are my holy grail” And Shewrog, who chose a picture of a doner kebab. My award for the best avatar, however, goes to Killerbee, with a picture of a bee with a minigun. What do you call a bee with a minigun? Answer: Anything it wants you to. Ahh. Comedy.
Things took a more serious note on Thursday, when ChairofRust chose to forgo the Sexual Healing column in favour of the blog’s advice on relationships,
No gaming last night as had a long and drawn out argument with the girlfriend regarding a male friend of hers who has declared his undying love for her and apparently is waiting for me to slip up....... which she sees no problem with!
AlunEvans was first to respond, with the succinct advice that “if she can't see why you're upset then she's a wierdo”. Others were more blasé about the whole affair (sorry), pointing out that the only reasons she’d have told him this were that either she didn’t take it seriously or she wanted him to start paying her more attention, neither of which are necessarily bad. Even if things do get out of hand, Killerbee reminded him that quite a few chatterboxers had already worked out ‘contingency plans’ for dealing with just this sort of situation. Plastic bags and hacksaws at the ready, gents, and don’t forget the quicklime.
Once again the blog seemed to have pre-empted all the major news sources, as news of the postal strike broken on the blog was finally repeated throughout the mainstream press. Many bloggers had already felt its effects, through delay to online shopping orders and Flaming Lips tickets which arrived a full after they were posted. Killerbee was on hand once again to provide a wise word to all,
“You'd have thought the Unions would've learned that strike action without public support for services that are no longer state monopolies is only going to be doomed to failure, but no, they still seem to be carrying on..”
Very wise words indeed. Shame no one reads this crap apart from us, eh?
And so along came Friday, starting as the week began with a first post silveryfox. Now we see the reason for his name. The man is an animal. Elsewhere on Bill Oddie’s Autumn BlogWatch, Shewrog reported to have seen a rare sighting of two women kissing close to the basketball court where he’d be quote abused unquote earlier in the week. One can only wonder. Friday continued in the same vein as the previous four days, with the majority of the chat concerning FIFA and various attempts to coordinate online play. However, other games were managing to get more a mention, with Smike whetting a few appetites with his opinions of Operation Flashpoint 2 (“probably not quite as murderously unforgiving as the original one”) and a few bloggers organising games of CIV4, but mainly it was FIFA all the way.
A few murmurs were also heard of a ‘meat-up’ happening in the far flung future, with cautionary tales about Hayers abound and discussions about suitable venues worthy of such an honour. But that, as they say, is another story...
Quote of the week
“Overreacting? (Did I mention he is better looking and covered in muscles ....... albeit with the personality of a plank of wood?)”
ChairofRust showing his fear that his girlfriend is only after him for his personality.
Monday, 5th October was a day like many that had passed before it, not nearly because silveryfox managed to grab a 6th first in a row, showing the level of dedication that has previously been seen only in his dedication to Wipeout. He went onto grab a 7th before the title was snatched away from him by Pokemon (not the actual creatures). It was also a cold day, with the breath of commuters crystalising in the pre-dawn air and the sudden shift to autumn was noticed by a few bloggers who dutifully complained of the cold, the dark and the way lycra shorts chafe at this time of year.
FIFA10 was on the cards for most of the day, with the blog split between those who had it, those who were desperately waiting for it and those who were steadfastly not going to get it because they had their heart set on PES. SuperSmashIn was hoping the game shaped birthday present he’d found was a copy of FIFA whilst GranaryThorax had the most heartrending story about not being able to play due to an XBox RROD, but it was mainly passed over by the unfeeling bloggers and we’ll do the same here.
Monday’s enthusiasm for the game carried on through the week, and ruminations of a chatterbox league to rival the dominance of PES, and games of 10 Chatterboxers taking on the world in the manner that had seen them do so well at Killzone, were heard from many corners. PES players were able to delight in a touch of schadenfreude be Wednesday, however, as it became apparent that FIFA online was terrible, much as it had been with PES. Only bigworv had a word of warning amidst the general revelry, cautioning,
Rather than revel in the delicious comedy of it all I'm going to take a pessimistic stance. If FIFA online is now borked, how heinous is PES10 going to be?
Only time would tell, and indeed probably has by now. There may also have been a few bloggers who don’t like football games but they don’t really matter and as for me, I’m still waiting for it to be delivered from Tesco.
More online football woe beset the ‘box this week as it became evident that the In-ger-lund Ukraine world cup qualifier would only be available online from an “entertainment company”, for a fee. SuperSmashIn, I feel, summed up the thoughts of the box when he opined,
“THIS COUNTRY”
Our lives, however, were considerably brightened by the introduction of avatars that didn’t look like chess pieces caught in a Sony Bravia commercial as Guardian allowed us to express ourselves in picture form. Charles Arthur’s eyes are all seeing, however, and many first attempts were cruelly, and probably quite rightly, rejected. Some did manage to make it through first time, and a more rounded view of our fellow chatterers was seen. Some going for the literal, as BeardofBees with his picture of a man with a beard of, well, bees I presume, although some went a bit too literal (Looking at Spew). Others went for games related avatars and a special few chose something close to their hearts, like Limni “These are a pair of Air Max 360/95 hybrids and are my holy grail” And Shewrog, who chose a picture of a doner kebab. My award for the best avatar, however, goes to Killerbee, with a picture of a bee with a minigun. What do you call a bee with a minigun? Answer: Anything it wants you to. Ahh. Comedy.
Things took a more serious note on Thursday, when ChairofRust chose to forgo the Sexual Healing column in favour of the blog’s advice on relationships,
No gaming last night as had a long and drawn out argument with the girlfriend regarding a male friend of hers who has declared his undying love for her and apparently is waiting for me to slip up....... which she sees no problem with!
AlunEvans was first to respond, with the succinct advice that “if she can't see why you're upset then she's a wierdo”. Others were more blasé about the whole affair (sorry), pointing out that the only reasons she’d have told him this were that either she didn’t take it seriously or she wanted him to start paying her more attention, neither of which are necessarily bad. Even if things do get out of hand, Killerbee reminded him that quite a few chatterboxers had already worked out ‘contingency plans’ for dealing with just this sort of situation. Plastic bags and hacksaws at the ready, gents, and don’t forget the quicklime.
Once again the blog seemed to have pre-empted all the major news sources, as news of the postal strike broken on the blog was finally repeated throughout the mainstream press. Many bloggers had already felt its effects, through delay to online shopping orders and Flaming Lips tickets which arrived a full after they were posted. Killerbee was on hand once again to provide a wise word to all,
“You'd have thought the Unions would've learned that strike action without public support for services that are no longer state monopolies is only going to be doomed to failure, but no, they still seem to be carrying on..”
Very wise words indeed. Shame no one reads this crap apart from us, eh?
And so along came Friday, starting as the week began with a first post silveryfox. Now we see the reason for his name. The man is an animal. Elsewhere on Bill Oddie’s Autumn BlogWatch, Shewrog reported to have seen a rare sighting of two women kissing close to the basketball court where he’d be quote abused unquote earlier in the week. One can only wonder. Friday continued in the same vein as the previous four days, with the majority of the chat concerning FIFA and various attempts to coordinate online play. However, other games were managing to get more a mention, with Smike whetting a few appetites with his opinions of Operation Flashpoint 2 (“probably not quite as murderously unforgiving as the original one”) and a few bloggers organising games of CIV4, but mainly it was FIFA all the way.
A few murmurs were also heard of a ‘meat-up’ happening in the far flung future, with cautionary tales about Hayers abound and discussions about suitable venues worthy of such an honour. But that, as they say, is another story...
Quote of the week
“Overreacting? (Did I mention he is better looking and covered in muscles ....... albeit with the personality of a plank of wood?)”
ChairofRust showing his fear that his girlfriend is only after him for his personality.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Best Of Guardian Gamesblog 11-17 July
The weekend had come and gone, Monday rolling round again with all the inevitability of a PSN update from HiddenAway, and as the blogsters began to surface through the fug some took umbrage with P-K1ng, testicles seemingly intact, and his frankly objectionable proclamation of it being a glorious day. It’s Monday, man, nothing glorious about it unless you’re unemployed.
Of particular note this week was the bittersweet returns from (separate) honeymoons of makar27 and Sorbicol who, faced with 600 work emails upon his arrival back at work, bravely decided to ignore them all and join us on the Box. Following up this shocking display of work-shyness, he also managed to be two hours late for work on Wednesday. Ahh, the life of the newly-wed. Well-played that man, and congratulations to both on your conjugals! That was the happiest day of your life, i.e. it’s all down hill from there. Even childbirth doesn’t cut it, “Depraved and Barbaric” as TonyHayers put it. I’m sure he knows.
Fortunately for both of them, Umboros showed him that marriage doesn’t mean gaming days are over, as despite it being his anniversary he still managed to get in some games of SF4 whilst his romantic M&S meal for two was heating in the oven. We can only hope they were fighting each other and not that he was ignoring her whilst getting his arse handed to him by online opponents. However, BarryEans needs to take a leaf out of Umboros’ book and remove himself from underneath his wife’s thumb, as he admitted he wouldn’t be joining any blog games of Grand Slam Tennis on the Wii because his wedding anniversary was on Thursday and he “won't remain married for very long if [he ends] the celebrations early to play tennis online”. Come on dude, Man up.
Unusually for GamesBlog, this week saw plenty of talk about games, with many bloggers having spent their weekends storming beaches in newly released Battlefield 1943, and despite there being a few grievances (the squad creation system, the unflyable planes and the voice comms), the overall reception has been positive. Chubster was his usual hyperbolic self, proclaiming,
Wake Island (Best game map ever? One of, surely?)
Wrong. That award goes to CS_Assault. And in the fine tradition of the Graun’s unbiased journalism, we have this from Zelos,
I just tried the BF1943 demo. It's not bad but they really have chosen the worst maps from BF1942...
After the dust had settled on the sands of Iwo Jima, unflyable planes, undrivable tanks and unwieldy sniper rifles scattered across the virtual world, occasional poster Pokemon invited us all to comment on which games we thought were the hardest we’d played, after revealing he’d been unable to unlock any achievements on Metal Slug 3. Stand out suggestions seemed to be Gitaroo Man, the original Discworld game, Ultimate Ghosts ‘n Goblins, almost anything on the Spectrum and Rhythm Tendoku on Gameboy Advance, “because it's in Japanese and trying to work out what to do is frankly impossible at times”. CommodoreSchmidlapp there with that pearl of wisdom.
Unfortunately the camaraderie was short-lived after a throwaway comment from PirateCaptain, proclaiming that he enjoyed the dialogue of the GTA games, led into a full-blown discussion about which GTA was the best, why IV was crap, why VC was the best because of the music and the styling, no, why SA was the best because it had a mountain, no, why IV wasn’t that bad after all actually… And I’ll leave it there, except to say…will you be buying GTA V?
A few bloggers finally caught up with the times and saw Transformers 2 over the weekend (McBegbie with the best summation I’ve seen for a while, “Michael Bay films should be avoided at all costs”). But generally Chatterbox reactions have been positive. Giant Transforming Robots…you can’t really go wrong. Game talk and film talk seem to be things we do quite well on the box and the big releases this week included Brüno (GamesBlog quick caption review: Not as good as Borat) and Harry Potter. I hadn’t realised it was two and a half bloody hours long. Not that I was going to see it but damn, that’s almost a Lord of the Rings. Unfortunately McBegbie blew all film review credibility by admitting that he’d been to see it through choice and then complained about the plot. Although admittedly removing the Half Blood Prince storyline from a film called Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince does seem a little nonsensical. But IT’S A KIDS FILM. Enough said. Hermione though? ('her-me-uh-ne'? her-my-uh-ne?' 'her-me-own'? ‘hermy-owny’? Much discussion ensued) Needless to say bloggers agreed she’s matured well, though not fast enough for Limni.
Games and films are all well and good, but less familiar territory for the ‘box is the world of fashion. Whether it was just the release of Brüno that spurred us on, but Lazybones felt he needed some advice on t-shirts, feeling less secure working them in his old age. Polo shirts, string vests and Shirts (rejected for their need to be ironed) were all mooted, but CraggyIsland summed my thoughts up best with,
“Is it really a good idea to be asking that question here? You’re going to end up in the upper-body equivalent of the Chino pant.”
For those who don’t like to rely on Hadley Freeman for their fashion advice, games t-shirts and band t-shirts (with tour dates) are big NOs in the GamesBlog fashion world but a smart t-shirt and jeans can be enjoyed by a man of any age. Though if you’re developing a middle-aged paunch you may want to go with dark fabrics and heavier grade cottons.
Following on from the previous week’s cheerful discussion about serious medical conditions, on Tuesday cameroon decided to give us all a scare by admitting to a DIY based head trauma that he’d suffered the previous night and how he was still feeling ‘doped up’ that morning, a condition to which he is no stranger. Ever the concerned friends, numerous bloggers advised him to go see a doctor. All that is except onedaveofmany, who instead wondered how we’d actually know if something tragic befell any chatterboxer. One has to wonder if this hasn’t happened already, with many already having disappeared without a trace. Surely all of them can’t have succumbed to vigorous IT based work policies? Numerous bloggers of old were then trotted out, along with spurious and possibly libellous suggestions for their demise. Luckily Lazybones has a solution should he ever shuttle off this mortal coil without a computer and internet connection at hand to alert us all,
If I die I'm going to push my login details into someone's hand. Lazybones will live on ...
Like a blog version of Ace Rimmer (without the catchphrase) or the Dalai Lama (without the Buddhism), as others saw fit to point out. Fortunately for us all, the doctor confirmed that cam’s head trauma was nothing serious, so he used it as an excuse to avoid going to the gym instead. Still, it was a better excuse than missing it because of the two toasties he had for lunch on Wednesday.
Thoughts of our own mortality turned into concerns about blog acquaintances struck down by the dreaded swine flu, with Bosses, colleagues, colleagues’ children/wives and other assorted tenuous relationships to the blog having come down with the porcine equivalent of manflu. P-K1ng was seen to tempt Fate itself by asking for opinions on the Pepper Pig game for the DS, for his ‘little un’. Fortunately one cannot catch diseases through a blog or, as, as Craggyisland pointed out, we would all have been joining Tony in his frequent courses of antibiotics last year. Painful peeing? Indeed.
Continuing with the morbid theme, special commiserations go to John Hartson who it was revealed had a really bad cancer-ridden week. Balls, Brains and Lungs. Worth repeating Goody’s advice to all bloggers to have a feel for lumps later. Better yet, have someone else do it for you.
Quote of the Week:
“Childbirth- our last sprog born on our bed, I had his head in my hands at the delivery tunnel just before the paramedics arrived…
Had to buy a new mattress the next day. Messy business getting a wean out. “
Mollocate gives us the facts on home birth.
NB/ This Best Of could have been longer, but I’d reached the word limit and to be honest, I had to use industrial strength bleach expunge most of Thursday and Friday from my mind.
Limni
15 Jul 09, 3:03pm (about 21 hours ago)
Hermione - I saw an interview with her, she reckons the day after her 18th birthday, she went to a red carpet event and there were photographers trying to slide under the parked car to get knicker shots for the Sport.
She was appalled to be considered fair game. I was appalled they'd missed a full day.
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